forty Percent

within the next couple of months, i will see if i fit into a statistic. i have never liked math maybe it's because most of mathematical equations can't be False & are True. 3.14 is a forever number that never changes. statistics is the part of math i resent the most because in the best cases research was correct. in the worst say political polls over 50% of people that part-take don't give true answers or change them to suit the question asked.

i was diagnosed with a 75-cent word recently& for the first time in my life; i have to make major decisions that will be Long Term. @ the moment sitting, walking, standing or doing anything causes pain, not just the run of the mill either-i would compare what i have to the Flu only worse & more constant. with uberkewl degree in liberal arts i set forth & searched for good part of 4 hours on what i am facing.

reality- smacking me in the face was difficult & sitting coffee houses, i found myself brought to tears. a good friend of mine said recently that when one door closes another opens. typical cliché that stating the obvious. a few years ago, a famous cancer researcher & doctor visited my university. one of his key aspects of his speech to us was that the stronger a cancer survivors support network the higher the survival rate, shorter recovery time &

even complications. what i am facing is not cancer-a cyst stemming from the assault a year ago; growing on my spinal cord constricting my muscles, creating unspeakable pain, making difficult to sleep comfortably. i could chose to sit @ home & watch painful contrite soaps on television; instead i decide to walk & do the things i may not be able to after surgery. due to the severity of my condition-40% is a big number because it's not exactly better than say 30% but it's also not 70% is nearly even & things can go either way.

syringomyelia

there it is on the page.

my days have been Long since my diagnosis-facing neuro-surgery was something i never thought i would be; a growing cyst on my spinal cord. today, is one of those days where everything hurts, walking, sitting, Anything. i should be Home having a Pity session but i am wifi-ing getting some sun & gearing up for a fight-because this won't be Beat me!!

i am scared of Losing my ability to walk, ending up disability, losing sensation in my arms & legs that's why this entry has been so aptly titled 40%.

here's a link:
http://asap.org
a comprehensive website with awesome resources.