occupyingSpace

the last few days have been interesting, and learning experiences about people i thought i knew and people i realize i never knew @ all. i was threatened through a 3rd party; someone has beef with me and not the ability to confront me face to face. tonight when i walked to the store someone shouted out of a car, i sincerely refuse to acknowledge people that still act like they're in highSchool when they're in their 30's..get some tact.

being in my new place as been eye opening and comforting, not dreading anyone being here making me uncomfortable, i can have sex, invite friends over without having to worry about making lovers that i once respected treating my boundaries as if they don't exist. i left a crush and a friendship behind-Why, because of alcoholism.

this week has taught me a few things, like 4 year crush that finally entered my life last week with a vengeance and at the wrongTime; i am taking a sabbatical from sex and relationships, i realize that i want more than empty promises, tall tales, and waking up wondering when the excuses will begin. i Hate dating, men that forget that i have a brain, i am no longer going to Give it Up, even after the 3rd date; because i know something better is out there...

i went sprinting across my favorite marina the other night, the goldenlight of sunset was amazing. the same light i see people i love in. light was bouncing off the masts, dancing across the beach filled with people waiting for the night to begin. i used to run because i was sad, my selfesteem was in the bucket. now i run because i can; it's my sanctuary, how i clear my head and how i look @ something when i need a different angle. last nights run was uplifting and a sign that things are slowly becoming normal.

i learned some interesting things this week when it comes to grudges, to respect and love. it makes me feel lucky to know who i am. i am working on some new poems, some new business plans and grateful that i have a grandmother that walks 3 miles a day and still wants to talk to her grand daughter on the phone early on a Friday night. i am looking forward to old habits, new ideas and the quiet calm of my new beginning.