staircases

this will be it till sometime in september; i write this while sending my prayers to a friend of mine that had surgery today, Poetess we LoveYou. i will be revisiting thePast in many ways in the comingDays; & felt that i had to write tonight because i stumbled by accident into someone's Lie. i think when you can't Be Honest with yourself-you then can't be honest with others???

i discovered that sometimes what i thought i wanted was something i didn't want; but Love is hard that way-and in my heart i Will always love his flawed soul, that i barely got to see last month. i saw parts of him-that he wasn't ready to look@ himself. Truth is painful-but sometimes as a goodFriend mine said it sucks to hear it.

i went running my 6miler today; with the 8miles of biking i now do-and the mountains where beautiful, the air was clean and i made my loop in recordTime. i was exhausted, but happy-i had made new time beating my oldrecord. i havebeen doing compare/contrast with my life lately-theHell i lived lastYear that i thought was somethingGreat but was Toxic and one myworst choices i haveEver made in trusting someone.

everyday i wake-i am Happy-happy by myself, i have come to realize that NO one can break me, when i was trapped in the emotionallyAbusive relationship i thought i had no choice; because he wanted me to feelTrapped & codependent. when he began cheating, lying and hitting me in my sleep-what i thought was safe turned into the BurningBed.

i have read 2books that have had a greatchange on my life this past year. WhyDoesHeDoThat? a book by a man that counsels abusers, after reading it i realized that i was not crazy, irrational or losingMy mind-although my abuser wanted me to feel as if i was; it wasControl. the other book i read was ThePathToLove by Deepak Chopra, a wonderful, tender book about Love in all it's colors. it taught me howTO look for a true partner-to love people openly- and accept that we are all human in all our faults and our growth.

we all have intent-it depends what we do with that intent, or our purpose. each step my soul blossoms-and eachDay i am surrounded by those who love me i am grateful. Love is that. simple-pure and true. enjoy the lastDays of summer, take a snapshot of those you cherish, and remind yourself howLucky youARE.