what was missing

the past year had brought on greater change than i had ever expected but it also opened more doors than i had experienced. this blog is about the simple things we take for granted the things we won't look at like the homeless single mother living out her car; the man that always says something prolific to you before he asks for change. this about the other side of life that we usually pass on street corners on the way to work; the part of humanity we refuse to see, the part of being human.

for me what was missing came last summer, at the end of a toxic relationship while i was cross-training at shilshole marina here in seattle. i realized that i loved someone in the simplest way; that i had forgiven him and that i no longer looked at him as a bad person. we had a fabulous heat wave in seattle last summer and the feeling hit me as i was running up a muddy staircase; i was no longer angry, no longer holding anything against him. i felt light and happy and thought that it had to do with my current partner and for a few months and more than a few weeks that is what i told myself. life is never simple, but this feeling was.

i thought during my run that i was starting to suffer from heat exhaustion as i felt that light, i came back and drank water and ate and the feeling was still present.@ the time circumstances in my life became messy and a few hard realizations came into play. that i was Not in love with my then current boyfriend, nor do i look back think that i did. forgiveness is a hard to attain as it requires letting go of anger. i realized that i was had not only forgiven this person but that i was in love with him. i am sure you're sitting there going-so what??

well, the light feeling of forgiveness and love is hard to find and attain; what i have also come to realize is that i don't expect anything back in return. sometimes Love is just there. period. this post is about those simple things we have such a hard time seeing.

"love is the beginning of the journey, its end, and the journey itself" deepak chopra